This is the Diary Of The Man Behind The Mask.......

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Guess you all have read the story i wrote below. Well actually it's all real. Because i wrote down what happen to me in a diary and i wanted to tell it as a story. I uses the irony of the character's name the other way round. Jerry as Don and Dawn as Sherrie coz it rhymes. As for Elva i don't wish to tell who it is because i do not wish to drag her into the picture. For Leong the more i do not wish to mention but anyway it rhymes too. Everything stated is real except the part i died in the car accident. I mean part of me died. Somewhere in my heart. Perhaps you all can just read on as i carry on writing the story from the part just before i met up with a car crash, but this time it's all real.

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After knowing that Sherrie went out with 'Leong' and the fact she went to his house without telling me proves she firstly rejected me of meeting up, hoping that i can make things clearer, she even make things more clearer in her blog for me. I wouldn't blame her if we weren't together in the first place and she say things like 'i have mixed feelings' or 'perhaps I shouldnt make a choice now yet I think I've made a choice didnt I?' in her blog i wouldn't mind. But since we're still together yet she made such comments shows that she's not firm in her feelings and she allow his presence to make a stand in her.

I felt betrayed in love. I wondered if she could put herself in my shoe and feel what i'm going through, but i know it wouldn't happen. That was the last straw. She pushed her luck too far. It died in the process of loving her. There was once a saying, 'Why gave someone a heart to love when eventually you're gonna break it?'. She said she's always like that and she had never changed a bit and i told her i'm always there to aid her but she just pushed it away. Then i already know what a fool i have been. Thought i'm different.

Well, life still goes on. I believe she'll read this and wouldn't get my point but i REALLY hope one day she really does. It's difficult and exhausting now, and my world is destroyed, i don't think i'll recover any sooner and it'll take quite long for me the face another relationship. But i'll still moves on, as i believed that it's painful now, but i know when years later i looked back in the future i know it's just part of the memories.

first pic

airport

first date as couple

my favourite pic

hand in hand

Bambino D 5:45 am

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